No more dragging me down.

In the last two months I have preoccupied myself with my friend and her breakup and it is doing my head in. I have been there for her like I would want my friends to be in return but until today I didn't realise that I have been reading and replying to her emails and then feeling really really depressed like I was going through it.

Until driving my kids to school today I didn't realise that I was feeling like it was happening to me and that I take everything that is happening to my friends on board like it was my problem and not theirs... such a weird thing that is hard to explain.

I can't understand how a couple that for 11 years loved each other and looked fabulous together can have this happen and the guy hasn't even told her what the problem was just that he is getting on with his life and he has a new woman and a new family and stuff his old one and treating his kids like crap.

I know it is not my life this is happening too... but I feel powerless to help her and she has no one and no family and the friends she had were all co friends with her ex.... it must be the hardest thing ever to go through.

I have been talking to hubby about it and making sure that we are talking and that he would never treat our kids or me like that if we ever broke up because it is the nastiest thing and we have made an agreement that never ever ever would we put each other down in front of our kids and that we would try everything possible to keep together and go to counselling etc if that was ever to happen first (which my friends ex didn't do).

I am the luckiest woman on this earth I reckon.

I have a supportive husband and he isn't that bad looking either (if I may say so myself he he). I have 2 great kids that are caring and funny and loving and I have a great mum that lives with us (even though sometimes she drives me crazy I do love her). I have a great life... working part time at a job that isn't that bad really and quite flexible.

I am losing weight (even though it is slow) I get to go on bike rides and walks with my kids and we do things together even though most of it stuff that doesn't cost too much as we live from pay to pay (and that is totally our fault because we choose to live in the area we do) but that is ok too.

I think what I am trying to say is that I am trying my hardest to look at all aspects of my life to make sure that I keep losing this weight and that my whole life is happy because when things are down in my life I lose the motivation to lose this weight and I don't want that to happen.

In the last week I have tracked and I have tried really hard. I have only gone to the gym once but I am ok with that because I am a little bored of the kickboxing and the gym at the moment but I don't think that has been too bad for me... I am still going for walks and trying to park further away from things too.

I am hoping (HOPING) that tomorrow mornings results on the scales are good for me... I want to be in the teens. I have only 800 grams to get to the teens and then I will be the HAPPIEST PERSON IN NZ. So all cross your fingers for me.

What have I done today to make me feel proud: Today I had sushi instead of another takeaway my workmates had... so proud I didn't succumbe to Burger King.

Shock for me but had to show everyone

I wanted to show this post because it makes me keep on track because when I was this big (in the first photo) I didn't realise I WAS this big. I was fooling myself. I was thinking that everyone thought how beautiful was she. I looked in the mirror and saw just my face and just thought how beautiful I was... I showed this to hubby tonight and he cringed and so did I.

I keep looking at this photo and thinking OMG what did I think?

Why did I let myself get to this?

How did I not know that I was this big?

And now... I mean ok I am not skinny and have 40 or more kilos to go but I feel like this is a happy person and this is a person that is looking after herself and her family.

I don't want to go back to January 2005!!

I am happy at the size I am at the moment but I think it is because I am able to do things that I couldn't do or wouldn't do back in 2005.

I need to start feeling unhappy at the size I am to get this weight off.... I can't keep feeling comfortable... I just can't!!!

Lost for words

Weekend has been good... but nothing to really talk about.

Food was good this week... a couple of over the points but not overly. I think I might be making a loss but not too sure how much. Lets hope it is a good one but any loss would be good at the moment.

Didn't get out of bed until 12.15 today woohooo. Mum let us sleep in this morning till 10.30 and then hubby got me breakfast in bed. Burgeon (spelling?) bread with banana and cinamon on the top and put in the oven to crisp up the banana and cinamon woohooo... yummmy.

Then watched a DVD in bed with the boys (as it was pissing down with rain outside) and while they were watching that I was reading Harry Potter (the 6th book though as hubby was reading the 7th grrrr).

Went out shopping to get the unisex presents for our Christmas party next weekend and OMG OMG it is hard to find something to get.... I had such a hard time finding something.

Work tomorrow... grrrr not really wanting to he he he... want to be lazy and stay in bed again tomorrow. Not going to happen though.

OH MY I cannot think of what to write in here today so I will just leave it for now...

Love Chubbymum

Straight

I had a bit of a headache this morning but thought NO!! I need to get my butt up and out. I couldn't decide whether to go for a walk or go for a bike ride or go to the gym or a walk around the lake... grrr so stayed in bed till I could decide as I hate not knowing what to do before I get out of bed he he he...

So I got up and got dressed and went to the gym.... it was great... I did lots of arm weights and leg weights, crunches, bike, cross trainer. It was fabulous apart from this lady in probably her late 50's saying... it is great to see that you are coming to the gym. Now I don't this lady but she kept treating me like it was the first time I had come to the gym... I know she was trying to be nice but after the 4th time I said to her well actually I have been coming to the gym for 2 years now and I have lost 35 kilos and she said really (felt like saying Yeah lady I am still bloody huge but fitter than you think I am he he he but I didn't).

Came home and felt better off for it. I went and did a facial and shaved my legs and under my arms it was bloody great... lots of hot water and just me. No kids bugging me... no husband with his loud music but I did still have my bloody mum down stairs turning the water on making the water cold... and I told her twice before going upstairs that I was going to be in the shower ho hum.

What a fab lunch I had today OMG it was sooo yummy it was beyond. Hubby did well in deciding my food for the week.

Lunch was drumstick and wing (I took the meat off the bone) and a little bit of Chiritzo in the frying pan with onions and fried them up (little tiny bit of olive oil). In another pot I had mushrooms and I thickened it up and I put both the chicken, chiritzo, onions and mushrooms together on a piece of toast it was sooooo soooo yummmy.

After lunch I went and got my hair trimmed (didn't take too much off as I am wanting to grow it) and then she straightened it for me as a friend keeps saying that I should straighten it. So here is a picture. I don't much like it though because it bothers me. I like my hair curly but it was nice for a change.

It looks longer in the picture than what it is really.

Kate I put a scrapbook page on my post yesterday for you to see. Thanks for the website too.

Chubbymum

Kilo be away with you

Today has been a good day.

I refused, cake, muffin and quiche and OMG a V... went to my weekly afternoon tea with friends and I did well in saying no to all the yummy treats.

Breakfast

3 Weetbix

Milk

1 tsp sugar

Morning tea

Pretzels (small handful)

Lunch

4 CruskitsTuna (tomatoe and basil)

Cottage Cheese

Tomatoe

Avocado

Pepper

hmmmmmmm

Afternoon Tea

Mocha Frappe (with water no milk and no cream)Peach

Dinner

Chicken

Couscous

Beans

Carrots

Cauliflour

I have this kilo to get off before next week and I AM GOING TO DO THIS....

Felicity you are on!!

I am feeling so positive about it this week.... It is very hard for me to lose more than 500 grams a week but this week it feels right.

I don't have other things like my business to concentrate on and it will happen.

Spent the morning taking Quinn to the doctor as he had one of those ingrown boil thingy (like you had Janene) on his elbow (Corbin had it on his knee last month and I had it on my leg the month before grrr). The doctor said that when you have dry skin it doesn't help either because where the cracks are they get dry and then it can get infected and it is contagious... so we have this special cream so we can stop the cracks in our elbows etc (Luckily it has been months since I have had one but they are nasty B's). So he got antibiotics for that.

I also had to see her about a couple of things for me too and I had my blood pressure taken OMG she did it twice with an electronic one and it wouldn't read so by the third one I was imagining that it was up... when I was bigger it was usually really bad at 160 over 90 but today (even after three times) it was 145/80 so I was really happy with the change. Still not good but better than it was before.

She also took my weight and her scales said 122 (grrr told her I wasn't happy with her scales) but mind you her scales said I weighed 160.4 when I first started this journey yet the WW scales said 154.7. It is a great loss though from her scales as they said a 38.3 kilo loss wohooo me. But I have only lost 34 kilos as far as I am concerned so it put me on a little bit of a high.

Hubby sat at his laptop last night for 2 hours and afterwards printed out a list of things I am to eat this week... so it will be interesting how this week goes with the food list. He wrote what is for breakfasts, lunches, dinners and snacks. So as you can see by the food above that is what he has told me that I am eating and I must say I have not felt hungry at all and by the end of dinner I am as full as a pig he he he.

Hubby gone out tonight to a school thing for our youngest where the teacher is explaining the school interenet and how to get in to the class forum and pages... and they are talking about wiki's ???? and then he is off to Trivial Pursuit with his friends to win more bar tabs he he he so I am going to put the boys to bed and do some digital scrapbook pages... I miss creating just normal things and not to sell... it is a great week for relaxing and doing what I want.

I am getting my hair cut tomorrow... really not knowing what I want done.... thinking maybe I will just get a trim as I need it. I asked hubby if he thought I should get it cut short again and he said that he likes it this length but wouldn't want it shorter at the moment... so hey I think I might go with that at the moment until it bothers me anyway.

I brought the Harry Potter book today.... I haven't read the Half-blood Prince yet and I am half way through that at the moment. We have the 4 dvd's and when the next one comes out I will get it. I do like watching them and the boys and I have watched them heaps of times so it isn't like we wouldn't. The books are just getting bigger and bigger that it take forever to read for people like me who are slower at reading.

I can't wait to hit the teens... it is soooo close that I can taste it! I know I have been saying it for months but I just want to get there. I have been getting so many compliments lately about how great I am looking and I want to say... I have not lost anything in ages... it has only been 1 kilo in 6 weeks but apparently hubby said that my shape has changed so hey I will take it aye.

Ok... so off to do some digital scrapbooking

Love Chubbymum

Refused Cake

Today has been a good day.

I refused, cake, muffin and quiche and OMG a V... went to my weekly afternoon tea with friends and I did well in saying no to all the yummy treats.

Breakfast

3 Weetbix

Milk

1 tsp sugar

Morning tea

Pretzels (small handful)

Lunch

4 CruskitsTuna (tomatoe and basil)

Cottage Cheese

Tomatoe

Avocado

Pepper

hmmmmmmm

Afternoon Tea

Mocha Frappe (with water no milk and no cream)

Peach

Dinner

Chicken

Couscous

Beans

Carrots

Cauliflour.

I have this kilo to get off before next week and I AM GOING TO DO THIS.... I am feeling so positive about it this week.... It is very hard for me to lose more than 500 grams a week but this week it feels right. I don't have other things like my business to concentrate on and it will happen.

Weigh in - 25 July 07

Weigh in day at home

Loss/Gain: Gain 300 grams
Current weight: 120.7 kgs
Total loss: 34.0 kgs

Small challenge: 119.9 kgs
Started: 12 June 07
How much to go: 800 grams

OK so I gained 300 grams. This week has been a nightmare for me and to be honest the food wasn't my first priority with the Wedding Expo etc so I have to now focus on the weight loss and see what I can do. I can't seem to stop myself from going 120.7 to 120.3 and back and down GEESH ME.

I started off well today and was very proud.... OMG was I wanting Burger King today... not that I wanted it just that my mind wanted me to go and get it GEESH... so I started driving towards it and thought NO I don't need this for lunch so I drove an extra 10 minutes in the opposite direction and got Sushi instead. I was proud that I got sushi instead of Burger King for lunch... a much healthier option that is for sure.

So far my food is:

Breakfast
3 weetbix
Milk
Coffee

Morning Tea
Nectarine
Mandarin

Lunch
6 pieces of Sushi
(I LOVE SALMON) OMG

Afternoon Tea
Mocha Frappe (done with water and no cream)

Dinner
Steak
Mashed Potatoe
Beans
Cauliflour

I am trying to not make excuses for how crap I am at losing the weight these last couple of weeks but to be honest I didn't give a flying F** (smack hand) the last week on what I was eating. I really tried hard with the exercise and making my steps be more than I have done but the food went on the wayside.

Steps this week:
60,825 - 39.5 km

So I am soooooo proud of my walking but the food let me down. We had quick dinners so I could get things organised and on Saturday we had KFC and I can't say I loved it as it has been 2 years since having it but it was nice for a change.

This week

• Portions are coming down..
• Water to be drunk
• Only 2 V's this week
• Track

So they are my goals for the week.

I don't want to stay at the size I am anymore but I also don't have the motivation either.. and I think a lot of you out there are having the same problem. The thing I am finding that I am happy about is that I am not gaining more than a couple of hundred grams so I know how to maintain so that is a good thing to know for when I get to goal. Now is the challenge to get rid of some more.

9 Day until the Xmas Function... so I have to get my A in to G and lose 1 kilo!! I have to be in the teens by then... I just have to!!!

Love ya all

Chubbymum

Wedding Expo - Wohoooo

Wow..

Where do I start?

It was the most interesting time of my life yesterday. I went in thinking I wouldn't get much out of this because people don't tend to decide on the day they just go and have a look etc...

It started at 9.30 but I was on my feet from 7am. We went in on the Saturday to set up but there were things we needed to do in the morning as well.

The photos don't do it justice I reckon. I put it all up and then went around to look at the other stalls and there were 2 other invite businesses and one of them was fabulous... she was a professional and you could tell. I said to hubby that I felt like I shouldn't be in it because I don't think people would take a second look at my homemade invites and I was pretty much upset on Saturday and Saturday night thinking it was going to be a disaster.

I got to know the people around my stall... there was a naming stall (your family origin etc) and Liquorland, The photographer we had at our wedding almost 12 years ago freakkkky, and Judge Valley vineyard and a jewellery maker.. it was nice to get to know them all.

I made sure I went up and said hello just so that I could get to know how many expos they had been to etc and they were all so nice and we chatted when we could through the day.... (tell you more about one of them at the end of this post).

I spent all day handing out my pamplets and my business cards and I had soooo many people come to look at my invites and tell me that they were different and out of the square and how beautiful they were. OMG I was on a high. I couldn't stop smiling (had sore cheeks by the end of it). I showed them that I did wine bottle labels for the table and also that I put menu's in the plates too and people found that I was a person that thought out of the square.

Tania wasn't happy because they were coming towards my part of the stall. But as I said to her it was a black background and I made sure that I was using bright colours to attract people... with my orange etc people just came over. Tania didn't do enough bouquets but what she did was beautiful but it wasn't enough for people to come over and take a look. I think next time she will know.

Our space was 1 metre by 250 OMG how small was that but we shared it so we couldn't have too much there but it worked out well.

So I had my big picture frame with invites in the middle of it and then I had a little table covered with black material and I had my wine bottles and my scrapbook of other invites I couldn't fit on the board. There were more things I could have done but hey I just didn't get time and I have only just started.

I even had one of the other invite ladies turn up to my stall (she didn't think I knew who she was but I did) and she was complementing my invites too so he he he he na na na na to you lady. She was impressed. Wohooooo.

I had a lot of people interested in my wine bottle labels and so I am going to do well on them. During the day I had other business come up to me as well.

One was a function centre and asked if I would design some menus for them and place names as they didn't have the time and would like to hire my expertise (OMG expertise he he he).

Also Lodge real estate was there and he said he will be in touch as he would like to get some wine bottle labels made up for him.

At the end of it Liquorland Director came to me and said that they do sell bottles of wine with no labels on it for just this occasion and she would like to put up some of my business cards in her stores and that she would give me a discount on the wine (without labels) wohooo me... he he he

I had a lot of brides to be say that it was nice to have a Hamilton owned business doing invites such as mine, a lady that lives in the same area as me was sooo pleased that I didn't live so far and that she could pop in and have a chat about invites.

I had a couple of ladies ask if I did 21st invites etc and I said yes.

OMG I had so much positive feedback I was on a high. I might not get many invites out of this but I do have 3 different contracts that could eventuate and that is the main thing.

One bottle label lot will make up for the expo money and it was worth it.

Also I did a wine bottle label for a lady here at work for her hubby and he asked her to ask me if he could send me some emails of horse studs in the Waikato that would be interested in getting some of the wine bottle labels done for their business OMG OMG it is like expanding like you wouldn't believe. I didn't think that it would spiral like this.

I didn't think that the wine bottle labels would get to the stage where I was getting more interest than the invites. It is amazing how I am feeling about it.

I got home soooo exhausted and my calf muscles were soooo sore and this morning I am soooo tired because I didn't get much sleep in the weekend. I am totally exhausted and TOTALLY glad that it is over but I am glad I did it.

I am not too sure that Tania feels the same way but I did tell her on Saturday night that she didn't seem to have too many flowers and she said simple and elegant is what she was going for but if people can't see a lot and can't see some different ideas they just don't stop ya know?

I think next year she will do something totally different. She also wasn't pleased that the side I was in was getting more of a look in because of the way the people were coming down the isle... but I couldn't help that.

All in all it was FABULOUS and I can't stop feeling happy about it.

I forgot to mention that at the expo I had my Weight Watcher leaders come up to me and say OMG look at you Look at you. You look fantastic and you look like you have lost more weight. Woohooooo.... it felt fantastic that they noticed (even though it was only 1.3 kilos lost since last seeing them) and I told them that but they said it looked like I had lost more as my whole shape had changed around my waist he he he... I felt on an even more high after seeing them it was great.

Anyway at work so I better get my A in to G.

Love Chubbymum

Excited

I was so proud Thursday... I went for a walk around the lake with my mum (which shocked the hell out of me as she never wants to walk anywhere ) and she managed to walk half way around the lake and I walked the other half and then went back to pick her up. So yesterday I did 10,023 steps Wohoooo me I broke the 10,000 steps a day woohooo.

Today I went for a walk around the lake again as it was a beautiful weather and also walked the boys to and from school.

I did 12,746 today am I on a high or what.

I am not going to update much this weekend because of the expo so I am sorry about that but I will hopefully get some photos.

Love ya all
Chubbymum

Weigh in 18 July 2007

Weigh in day at home

Loss/Gain: Gain 100 grams

Current weight: 120.4 kgs

Total loss: 34.3 kgs

Small challenge: 119.9 kgs

Started: 12 June 07

How much to go: 500 grams

Ok a little upset with that because I did track and I did my exercise grrrr but at least it is only 100 grams. I did say last week that I should have gained and I lost so maybe I am a week behind myself and next week will be a good one...

I mean all I am asking for is 500 grams... how hard could that be?

I was gutted... so was hubby as he gained 100 grams too... so at least I know that it wasn't just me as we eat the same thing and do the same exercise... so I am pleased with that.

It is only 11 am and I have done 3134 steps and I have a sit down job so I am pleased with that.... and I am going to kickboxing tonight and also taking the boys to soccer today.

I am gutted about it but I know that I have gained a huge amount of weight and I suppose at least I know I can maintain aye... and that is the main point that I am not going to gain back so much weight that it takes me twice as long.

I just want to justify what I have done these past two weeks...

One positive thing... I went in another notch on my belt.

When I brought these jeans in June I got a belt and I was on the first notch (just btw) it was a little tight and now I am on the third notch so I am going down in centimeters. I should have taken my measurements.

Next week on Wednesday I will take my measurements.. this week with the expo it is a little stressful.

Well last night I managed to do 2 wine bottle labels for the expo, a sign for my pin board, finish my scrapbook album of the invites that I am not using in my picture frame and hubby and I did a letter to the realestate guy re pricing for bottle labels... so I am pleased with last nights work.

Tonight is putting the invites on the picture frame, desiging a bottle label for a client on a Moet bottle argghhhh don't want to smash that.... and doing some hand outs for brides to be to take at the expo... oh and of course going to the kickboxing class OMG.

Anyway it is my lunch time soon... gotta go...

Love ya all

Chubbymum

Contracts woohooo

We didn't go for a walk tonight as it was raining....yes I know that isn't an excuse but I have so much to do for the expo that I am not going to go out... plus.... TANIA (lovely lovely Tania) phoned me this afternoon and maybe has a potential customer for me for my bottle labels OMG OMG am I excited... it is with Lodge realestate. They want an official quote for labels and what I can do for them etc by tomorrow morning as they are contracting her to do gift baskets as well and she mentioned that she has a friend that has a business etc etc... woohoooooo for me.

So on top of doing the invites and finishing alllllllll the stuff I have to do tonight I have to do the quote... and to be quite honest I should be doing it instead of doing this blog he he he but I am being a procrastinator until the kids go to bed or I will be doing it out of frustration because I can't concentrate I know I know excuses aye.

So if I get this then I will have two contracts for businesses for their gifts wohoooo... and if you know of any other business that might want to hire me please please tell them he he he

I felt sooo hungry today and wanted to nibble nibble nibble.

To tell you the truth I am worried about my weigh in tomorrow.... only because 2 weeks ago I was a nightmare with my food and in my experience in the last two years I take 2 weeks for a weigh to show properly and even though I have been good for the last two weeks it won't show up just yet. I have 400 grams to get to my teens OMG I wish I would get it but I am not going to put my hopes on it AT ALL.

Work was full on today as I was trying to catch up on things.

Anyway goodnight everyone
Love Chubbymum

Ramblings

I found this while reading today and thought it was quite interesting

What Goes Up Must Come Down

It is not just walking uphill that provides benefit. Walking downhill has its advantages as well. Doctors in Austria examined two groups of people.

One group walked up hills and took a tram to the bottom; the other group took the tram up and walked down. The researchers were not expecting much from the downhill walking and were surprised to find that it significantly lowered blood sugar levels, a risk factor for Type II adult-onset diabetes.

Uphill walking lowered triglycerides-- fat in the blood, a risk factor for heart attacks-- but did not have the same sugar-lowering effect as downhill walking. Both groups experienced lowered cholesterol levels, the uphill group more so than the downhill. Researchers concluded that the practice of walking downhill is a good starting point for people who are new to exercise.

I suppose when you look at it... it is walking whether you go up or down hill. So as long as we are getting out then that is the main thing.

I am focussing on walking in the last month and getting out there whether it is raining or not. I started out with my steps averaging 5,000 a day for most days but now my average is 7000 a day and I am soooo pleased with myself. I am not at the 10,000 steps yet but I am getting there.

I want to get this weight off but I am doing something wrong or as my hubby says I am doing something right to maintain like that. So at least I am not gaining heaps and heaps aye that is the main thing.

I am not too sure what I will weigh this week. I have been a little relaxed on the food etc but I have been tracking and some days are way up and some are right on track. I can never tell what I am going to loose or gain each week as my body is strange.

So my walking has been up and this week my exercise has been:

Wednesday - 1 hour kickboxing,

Thursday - Indoor rock climbing (arm work)

Friday - Rest day

Saturday - Walked around the lake 4km and biked 5.5km

Sunday - Walked with hubby 40 minutes and biked with the boys about 6km

Monday - Have already done 4,000 steps and I have kickboxing tonight so that will take it up.

My week hasn't been too bad exercise wise.

I have tracked this week again... I have slacked in the last couple of weeks with the tracking so I am back on track now and this week was tracking but not worried about the points as such to make myself realise what I am eating and how I am going to get back on track.

So from Wednesday I am going to be keeping totally to my points and see what the difference is. When I have my exercise and my tracking down to pat then I will be a happy camper again.

I so want to lose 400 grams this week but to be all honest I don't think it will be a loss.. it will be again. I am doing this yoyo again and cannot get in to those bloody teens and the only one to blame is me and I know that.

I also have stopped blogging and that isn't helping either. I have to find a happy medium.

I don't know what to say in my blogging and I want to talk about day to day but then to be honest I can't be bothered when I work all day and then trying to get the invites done for the expo and holding back when I want to say things... this is all something I have to work on.

I want more!!! I want to read about weight loss constantly lately and I don't want to read statistic but I want someone that is going through the same things as I am. Some one to tell me do this and do that... I know I know that isn't a good way to do it... but when I first started blogging I would read blogs and it would motivate me and I had so much gumption to get this weight off and now I am in limbo and I know I have said this so many times before but I don't know how to get my act together and no one but me is to blame... I do know this. I do! just finding it hard.

I have a new blogging friend and this is her blog we do the same job but with different regions and I met her last week she is a lovely person and we have so much in common apart from she is sooooooo young (the lucky beeearch) wish I had my time again he he he. So please go over and support her.

How do you count calories.. I have been doing points for soooo long that how the hell does anyone know what calories are in a banana or apple or stuff that don't have the nutritional stuff on the back. It is sooo confusing. That is why I keep going back to points. Then how do you know what the points calculate to in calories too... it is such a strange thing. I want to know more but can't work it out.. dumb I know but it intrigues me.

Ok I am rambling but I am going to ramble more when I get back from Kickboxing because I need to ramble today he he he.

Love Chubbymum

601 posts Woohoo me!!!

This is my Six Hundred and First post!!! OMG I can't believe I have had that many posts since starting this journey. That is a positive thing!

Today has been busy and it is only 2pm... he he he got up at 6am and woke up the kids and gave them breakfast and then it was off to the Hamilton Gardens to be involved in What Now it was a beautiful day and the kids had a fantastic time and so did we. We taped it too and we could see us a couple of time woohooo...

They were trying to get the biggest Locomotion dance for the Guiness book of records. We had to break the 1,800 people doing the record and we managed to get more than 3,500 people and there were Spacifix were there singing their "Sunshine day" and now I can't get it out of my head. Wow the people there were amazing and the waiting around for the live cues were interesting too. I knew that a lot of work went in to making What Now but didn't realise until today. I just couldn't believe how beautiful the weather was and the bugger of it all was that I took my camera and made sure I had heaps of room on the disc and then got there and the bloody battery was dead ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I was sooo angry. Typical aye he he he.

I have to say THANK YOU Livy for caring and listening last night!! I needed it and it was great to talk to someone. I really appreciated your friendship.

Got home and had lunch and then we went for a bike ride to Tania's... she is doing a big clean up of all her stamps and she gave me about 40 stamps that she doesn't want anymore OMG that is like a couple of hundred dollars worth and some really good stamps too. THANKS Tania that is going to keep me going.

I did 4 more invites last night and I am now feeling a little better about things. Tomorrow night we are getting all the invites together and putting them in the scrapbook and working out what else I need to do for my site. OMG I cannot even tell you how nervous I am and unprepared.

Lee-Anne are you coming up for it still?

I have red cheeks and feeling quite warm today.. not over this cold and hubby said that I have tonsils like golf balls but we have booked in at the movies to go and see Harry Potter as we have heard good things about it. We aren't taking the boys to it as we have spent so much time with them over the holidays that tonight is our night away. I can't wait but then again I want to be doing things on my invites but need to get out with hubby.

The boys are making Korma for dinner tonight yummmmy can't wait to eat it sooo yummy.

Will tell you what Harry Potter was like tomorrow... Ho hum off to work tomorrow... Oh well.

Love Chubbymum

Thursday, Friday and Saturday

Not been feeling well in the last two days.

Tired of the kids... had enough of their fighting and moaning... want them to go back to school.

I think the cold that is going around all of you and my family is now creeping up on me... grrrr.... have a sore throat and headache and feeling really heavy ya know...

Even though I haven't been feeling well I did have a good day yesterday. My friend and her kids and my kids went indoor rock climbing and the boys had sooo much fun. We were there for about 2 hours and it was worth the $11 each.

It was a lot of un. My mum came with us and took some of the photos and I wasn't upset about this photo like I would normally be. I don't think I look as bad as I used to think... so that was a positive just there.

Wow how the time went really fast. The kids enjoyed it and I would take them again and it got them some exercise.

We then went back to my friends place for coffee and took look at the photos we took.

Friday was a lost day for me as I haven't been feeling well and had huge headaches and sore throats. My mum let me sleep in in the morning till 9am but it wasn't long enough and at 9am the boys were bouncing up the stairs wanting to play OMG OMG wish that the school holidays would hurry up and finish. So they watched a DVD up in our room while I tried my hardest to get some sleep.

My aunt that had the stroke phoned mum at 9.30 and they were talking and I got on the phone and she burst into tears. Her words were slurred and she was crying because it was soooo hard to try and talk. She was really good when talking to mum as she didn't want her to know how she was feeling. My cousin got on the phone and said that she was taking it better than expect and that they found a clot in her brain. I didn't know what to say and tears started to well up in my eyes. We are so far away and couldn't help at all... it is just not right. But at least she phoned so my mum could relax a little.

So about 11am I got out of bed and went downstairs and decided to have my lunch before we went out to the library to take the books back. It was the only place I could think of that we could go and the boys would be quiet and I could just sit because I was feeling like crap.... well they got restless and so when we got home I got them on their bikes and we went and got some apple muffins (little ones) and took it over to a friends place to have coffee... I didn't have any of them but I needed to get out and apparently she needed someone to talk to. Her name is Sherryl and things have been getting on top of her lately. OMG I seem to be attracting people with problems lately. Hubby said that it is because I am a good listener... maybe I should have done the lifestyle course like I said at the start of the year. Hmmm still thinking about it.

I have been really slack with my blogging lately... I don't really know what to say on my blog lately...

I have been on this website called www.walkingwithattitude.com and I have been on another website to get more support as I am needing more support than my blog lately because I don't want to go back to the fat person. But I am not happy all the time and I used to be able to say on here but haven't felt like I could in the last couple of weeks...

I know I haven't been losing lots each week but I am losing and in 5 weeks since leaving Weight Watchers I have only gained once and that was only 100 grams. I have lost 1.3kilos in 5 weeks and others can loose that in 1 week but for me... that is still a loss and I am not gaining... it is all good. I get frustrated sometimes when others loose more than me and I have to cope with that... it is the hardest thing I have ever done in my life but I can't go back to the old ways.

Saturday

Got up at 8.30 and had breakfast with the kids... I love weekends where we sit and have breakfast together it is nice to chat. Then we got the car ready for going grocery shopping and on the way decided to take the boys to the lake so I could walk around it. What a glorious day weather wise out there. I had my head phones on and it took me 35 minutes to get around it. When I first started walking around the lake it took me 55 minutes so I have improved soooo much.

While I was doing that hubby and the kids were at the playground. We then went and got our groceries and then came home to make homemade nachos for lunch yummmmmmy...

Hubby took me out to get a basket for my bike and then we went for a bike ride to my friend Tania's and around exploring little paths... it was great we went 8.5 kilometres it was a great ride.

Tonight I am spending most of my time on invitations for the expo... it is only one week till I will be there and I am sooo nervous and not really wanting to do it but I know I have to... he he he

Tomorrow mornign I am taking the boys to the gardens where What Now is going to be... so we have to get up at 7am and it is on till 10am OMG that is soooo early.. am I a sucker or what... ??? he he he

Anyway

Good night
Chubbymum

Weigh in - 11 July 07

Weigh in day at home

Loss/Gain: Lost 400 grams
Current weight: 120.3 kgs
Total loss: 34.4 kgs

Small challenge: 119.9 kgs
Started: 12 June 07
How much to go: 400 grams

Well I am really pleased with the loss of 400 grams. I figure if I lose 200 grams a week and I get more then I am happy with that because it is a loss and not a gain aye.

Since leaving Weight Watchers 5 weeks ago I have only gained once... so that is great aye. Ok it hasn't been a lot of weight I have lost but it is a loss and I am not in this for a race.... I am in this to change my lifestyle and to take it off for ever and NO WAY am I going to get back up to the almost 160's EVER EVER EVER AGAIN.

Only 400 grams to get to the teens... and it better be off before I come down to ChrisH's place. We got confirmation yesterday that our room is all booked and ready for us WOOHOOOO... it is going to be great.

I haven't worked out what I will get for the Xmas presents yet OMG that is a hard thing to do. Also food hmmmm.... we don't have a kitchen in our room so that will be interesting too but I am sure there is something I can take etc he he he will be a challenge.

I had a crap day yesterday and couldn't even write in here. Got to work feeling wonderful and then at morning tea my son phoned (now he doesn't usually) and then said "hold on mum nana can talk now" which worried me.

Apparently mum's sister in law phoned from Bermuda (where most of my family is because I was born there and so were my parents etc) to say that Mum's sister was in hospital as she had 2 mini strokes and she can't talk as everything is slurred (this sister just came out of an operation 10 weeks ago where they took out one of her kidneys).

Now that isn't all..... at the same time telling her about her sister found out that mums brother in law died and also that one of mums best friends died... so as you can tell she was not in a good mood.

So I finished work and went home as she had the kids and spent the day at home... was not a happy place.

So the story is.. mums sister who had the stroke and mums brother in law were once married (still friends though it wasn't a terrible break up) and a week ago they were all together for their daughter's wedding. So the poor kids have their mum in hospital and their dad just died and they both live in different countries. OMG imagine that...... The stroke happened before her ex died so that wasn't the reason she had a stroke.

I am travelling down to Rotorua today for a business meeting with one of the new girls down there. The bosses in Auckland suggested that I go down and help her out and I might be able to help her out. OMG so they are paying for travel and for lunch woohooo... She sounds really nice in her emails... it will be great to catch up with her.

I have my mother in law looking after the kids and I am taking my mum down to get her out of the house and she is going to shop while I am there. Then straight back home as my mother in law has things to do when I get back ho hum. Would have been good to stay down there for a while and catch up with people grrrrr oh well I suppose it is great that she is looking after them at all....

Will tell you all when I get back from Rotorua today.

Love Chubbymum

Week is great with Exercise

Day went so fast today.

I so didn't want to get up out of bed that is for sure.

Went to work and the Director there was in a good mood and that is unusual he he he but it was good.

Debbie was in such a strange mood today. I went and asked her if she was going to kickboxing tonight and basically jumped down my throat and said "why" I said I have missed ya lately... then I just walked away thinking OMG what got up her nose.

But I just shook off her bad mood and thought oh well.

Did I tell you all that every morning tea at work I am walking with one of the chefs at work. We go out for 7 minutes and back for 7 minutes (because we only have 15 minutes) and so that is how I am getting my steps up and also I am going out for a walk for 15 minutes at lunch and the other 15 minutes is to eat my lunch.

I have been feeling much better since trying to up my steps. I used to average around 5,000 steps and it used to frustrate me like anything but today I managed to get it up to 8,576 and I am sooooo pleased with that. I have been gradually getting my steps up each day.

I have been so good this week with my exercise.

Tuesday - Walked Morning tea and then out with hubby that night.

Wednesday - Walked Morning tea, lunch and after work with kids and hubby.

Thursday - Walked around the lake 4 km

Friday - Went for an hour walk with hubby and kids (hubby took day off)

Saturday - Went to the gym with hubby and worked at a level 9 on upper body.

Sunday - Bike ride and a walk to the shops

Monday - Walked Morning tea and lunch and then did an hour Kickboxing class.

This weeks totals were

Total Step Count:
46248

Total Distance:
30.06 Kms

So my week has been fantastic with the exercise... I am not worried that this week might be a gain because I am building up my muscle again as we have slaced off with the gym and exercise in the last couple of months.

But this past week I have been parking the car further away and I have been getting up off my desk to do more steps. I have been good with my food as well... not perfect like salads all the time but I am sooo proud of myself this week.

So this week is to keep up with the steps and to now work on the food and the portion sizes.

Anyway so kickboxing was so great tonight... they had a new routine and OMG there was so many people there we could hardly move. They have some new equipment

They had three of these and we were given numbers when we first came in and when your number was up then the 2 people that had that number would take a bag each and kick and hit from opposite sides. The rest of the people were doing the class with the same hits and kicks that the people on the bags were doing. OMG OMG I am sooooo sore it was soooo great and I was fatiged after the class that I felt like I was going to keel over it was the strangest feeling but I loved it.

Got home after the Kickboxing and found that Corbin had gone to sleep the minute we left at 5.30pm and it worried me because before we left I gave him some pamol as he was feverish. He has had a cold for 2 weeks now and we thought that he was getting over it but obviously he wasn't poor wee man. So we took him to the A & E to make sure that all was ok and we were sent home with Antibiotics and I feel happy about that because after 2 weeks his body wasn't fighting this and so he needed help. Hopefully this will sort him out.

2 weeks until the Wedding Expo and I am far from on track and I am tired of doing new invites to put in this... it is getting me down because I am a perfectionist and I don't like doing what everyone else is doing and then when I do do something I don't think it is good enough.

I am not going to do another Expo that is for sure as I would rather get a wedding and do exactly what they wanted instead of having to make up a lot of samples for a one day thing.

Which reminds me Lee-Anne girl we have to touch base re your wedding hun. I have to get to you some samples and we have a good old chin wag and sort out exactly what you want in these invites.... sorry I have been so preocuppied with the wedding expo and you did say your wedding wouldn't be till next year. I am still on to it ok!!!

Oh and I went to put my painting clothes on in the weekend too to do some painting and they used to be sooo tight on me that I would never wear them anywhere but at home and so I went and put them on and started laughing and hubby came upstairs to see what the hell I was laughing at and saw that they were sooo big that I couldn't even let them go because there was no belt to keep them up soooooo funny and made me realise how far I had come. So here is the photo...

So there you are... the pants that used to really really tight look sooo loose on me now and I could not keep them up he hehe

Good night everyone

Chubbymum

Satruday full on and strong

Felt alive today.

Yesterday was a downer of a day.

I did all of 700 steps in my whole day... went to the movies with the kids and did things at home but didn't want to move or do anything.

This morning go up early because the house across the road was having a garage sale and silly people turning up before the time... neighbour got mad and said go away until I am ready... so the whole house was up by then he he he.

Went to the garage sale across the road to see what was there and we brought a table that we can have camping so that was a good thing.

Hubby and I went to the gym woohooo we went to the gym it has been weeks....

• Anyway... so I did a lot of arm work today this is my routine...
• 10 minutes treadmill -Incline of 2, Level 5 and it felt really good and relaxed. Usually I feel really tired on this machine first. But I felt great.
• 3 sets 15 of Lateral pulldowns
• 3 sets 15 of Chest press
• 3 sets 15 of Shoulder Press
• 3 sets 15 of Seated row
• 10 minutes on cross trainer
• 5 minutes on recumbant bike

I know reading this it didn't sound like much but I have been reading online about Body for Life for a couple of days so I am trying to do some of their routines so that I can build muscle (not in the looks just to replace the fat) and so you have to do some weights so that you can build the muscle and get rid of the fat... http://bodyforlife.com/challenge/whatis.asp

I am not doing the food part because I don't want to be eating their products to be quite honest and I want to still be eating the food that we normally eat within reason. I am going to try the protein bla bla things and see if it works.

This week I have been trying to get back in to the exercise routine that I have neglected. So far this week since tuesday I have walked 20km and found a website that has told me what my step counter equates to in kilometres... so that is great as far as I am concerned he he he.

I can tell you that right now my arms are absolutly sore and throbbing he he he so I have done something right he he he.

I feel like I have my motivation back. I just had to find my mojo in the exercise back again and now I want to go to the gym.

So I have taken a leave of absence from my trainer for a month to see if I can get this weight off and get fit with my husband and save myself $50 a fortnight.

We were chatting with the owner of the gym today and OMG he was great (I had always heard nasty things from my personal trainer about him but today I am seeing things differently).

Hubby's membership finishes on the 11th and mine on the 11th August (as I had a month to go before we renewed the membership to be a family one.. anyway we were trying to see if there were other ways to pay for the membership instead of weekly as it is costing us $300 more if we do the weekly thing instead of the lump sum.

He made us a deal and said that we go away and talk about it because we have been with the gym for 2 years that if we could come back with a plan like pay a lump sum now and in a certain amount of months come with the other lumps sum that he will think about it.....wooowww that was fantastic so instead of $1,300 (with fortnightly payments) he was allowing us to pay lumps sums to the value of $999 to make life easier. I couldn't believe it and said thank you we will get back to you.

The thing is... is that I have a contract with him for labels for wine bottles for Xmas for his business so that is like $450 so that is almost half of the sum there... so if we could come up with the other half I wouldn't have to pay it ya know... Didn't say that to him though. So if I do a good job on the bottle labels I might be able to get a yearly thing out of him so I can pay for my gym membership hmmmm thought that was a fantastic idea.

Anyway so we came home... got the kids and went and paid for our warrant of fitness and our registration OMG money money money forked out today.

Came home and for lunch had bacon, eggs and toast (remembering we went to the gym and didn't have breakfast) hmmmm soooo yummy and it wasn't a lot of food so that was still ok. I only had 2 strips of bacon and they weren't done in grease.

Then we went for a bike ride (weather today is sucky and windy and rainy) but we went out and the wind was in our faces but no rain woohooo and did a 5.5km bike ride with the wind against us and I felt fantastic. It was a great ride. Corbin decided to stay home with my mum and it was Jeremy, me and Quinn. It was a great ride.... he he he he.

Came home painted my picture frame (the rest of it) for the expo and put a roast pork in the oven for dinner tonight.

My friend that has been having trouble with her ex that has just left her came over with her kids and they played playstation and we chatted. It was the first time in 2 months that her daughter has smiled. At dinner we were all talking and my friend said to everyone... 'so what was the best thing that happened to you today' and started with her son (6 years old) and her daughter (9 years old) said "I have two best things... walking with my mum today and coming over here to Aunty CM and Uncle CM OMG I had a big smile on my face because she was happy and she wasn't upset or moody (as she has been since her dad left and thinks that no one loves her and certainly thinks her Dad hates her (which he does but doesn't like other to know) they clash... so anyway stuff her Dad I think she is a great kid and has great manners... it was nice to know I made her smile.

My friend was sooo much more relaxed tonight too... and she thanked me for listening and being a good friend too... it was great to know that I had helped her and that she was feeling a bit better even though she is going through hell at the moment.

They left at 9.30 and it was very very very late for our boys (cross our fingers they sleep in he he he).

I had a fabulous day.

Tomorrow we are going to the gym again and then we have more friends over for dinner as they are up from Wellington (8 hour drive from here) they have been away for the school holidays and coming to visit. She is an old friend from school and I have known her since I was like 9 years old we went to Japan together when we were younger too. It is going to be interesting to see her as I haven't seen her in a year now and I have lost some more weight so I can't wait to catch up with her and her hubby and kids... we are going to have a naughty dinner of fish and chips but hey... I will work my backside off at the gym tomorrow morning to pay for it aye... he he he.

Ok so I have rambled on enough.

Food today:
Breakfast: Naughty didn't have any because going to the gym and the hectic day he he Lunch: Eggs, Bacon and toast

Dinner: Pork, Potatoes, Peas, Carrots, Pumpkin

Food wasn't wonderful but it wasn't that bad either I thought. I wasn't hungry and I wasn't overly full either because I didn't eat to be full like I usually do... I was pleased with it today.

Exercise was over the normal and Food was JUST ok.

Love Chubbymum

Weigh in day - 4 July 07

Weigh in day at home

Loss/Gain: Gain 100 grams (TOM too)

Current weight: 120.7 kgs

Total loss: 34.0 kgs

Small challenge: 119.9 kgs

Started: 12 June 07

How much to go: 800 grams

Ok... so I gained but I honestly think with having my T.O.M that is an ok gain. I expected it because usually I gain when having my monthly.

So I have 800 grams to get to the teens and it is going to happen this month... I just know it!

My mini goal is to be at 118.9 kgs before I go to ChrisH's place for Xmas dinner so let's get that 1.8 off in 4 weeks.

I have to get my backside in order.

Feel like I have given up everything lately. Now I need to be introducing more back in to my life.

Chubbymum

Contemplating life....

I have been trying not to think of weight loss in the last 3 weeks and it seems to be doing me better.....

I mean that I was concentrating on it so much that I was either being strict with my food or going over board and in the last couple of weeks I have said to myself that I am not going to track but be weary of what I am eating and also that I am not going to go overboard on the exercise as I am finding that I am feeling stressed and out of control because I am getting mad if I can't get to a class or go for a walk and life isn't supposed to be like that.

So I have been going for walks and putting my pedometre on and making sure that I make little increases on my steps each day and if I don't do many steps I am happy with that as well.

I know that I am only loosing 200 grams and 500 grams but they are losses and they aren't gains so life seems great with me with that at the moment. I still have little panic attacks on a Monday thinking OMG weigh in is Wednesday morning I hope I have lost.

I have got the dreaded monthly so I know that there isn't going to be a loss this week but that is cool. I would really really like there to be a loss but not gonna happen.

I think winter for me... I get a little overwelmed with all that is happening with soccer with the boys and having to go our separate ways to take them now and not go as a family because both of them are playing this year and also with my Papaya business and all the things I want to achieve with that and also thinking about studying a small business course to help me with the things I am not understanding and then the weight loss and also trying to find some time for my friends and for hubby too... the weight loss (in huge waves) just has to put on a slow go at the moment.

Last year I tried so hard with the tracking and the events that it really didn't get me that far in the weight loss (in the fitness it did) but I am in this for the weight loss and not the fitness at this stage... so maybe this year with focuss off the weight loss as the major major thing in my life it might be better for me.

I am finding that leaving WW was a good thing for me because I have not gained in 3 weeks since leaving and when I was going to WW I was up down up down up down so it has made my decision a lot easier.

I have also said to my PT that I am having a months break from her too because it is getting to be the same old same old and I need to refocus what I want with the weight loss and the exercise at the moment and I am not enthusiastic about going to PT sessions with her at the moment because I have been going for a year and it is another waste of money for me... so when I can sort out what I want from my PT's then I will go back and tell her what I want to achieve and how she can help me.

I always thought that if I left WW or my PT that I would gain gain gain and would stop thinking about weight loss and I was eventually gain it back. I don't think that is going to be the case with me. I know it has slowed but it is still happening and I have to really think that I have achieved something here and I am not giving up just refocussing where I am going and how I am getting there.

I have also been quite preoccupied with my friend and her break up because she is going through a rough time and she is 49 years old and it has taken her back that she is now bringing up a 6 year old and a 9 year old all by herself now and she is terribly lonely. I just need to be helping her out too. She doesn't have any family and went through a major cancer ordeal in the last 10 years too that I don't want stress to be another thing in her life to cope with without anyone supporting her.

It certainly makes me reassess my life and what would happen if J did that to me... sometimes you get so focussed on your family life and how you need to do everything for everyone in your family and one thing like the hubby leaving can really disrupt what you thought was a perfect life and that you never once had your individuality and now life will be totally different and there is not a damn thing you can do about it... scary really.

Oh and I had a text from Kris last week telling me she finally got off her backside and got a part time job... I sent a text back saying it was a pity she didn't take my advice 2 years ago. She said that she is enjoying it and she should had done it when I told her too... so I suppose that is a good thing.. the woman had too much time to sit and think of what a crap life she had but also wouldn't take advice from anyone because why would she... her hubby works two jobs so that she can go and spend it all for him on things for herself... GEESH.... I think she is finally sorting out the things in her life that just didn't work and maybe got off her lazy backside to get a life. OK enough moaning just makes me wonder... it is one thing to be at home to look after kids but when 2 are at school and the other one is always in the creche makes you wonder if she is being lazy or what ya know.

Anyway.....
Love ya all
Chubbymum