Wednesday 11 January 2006

Battle

Ok I have been battling with this for 2 months now and I have decided after last nights weigh in (which I lost...but not as much as I really thought warranted with the efforts I put it for 3 weeks solid).

I am not going to put my weight up for a while..... I am going to say I lost or I gained and I am going to keep writing like I have but I have been angry for my loss of interest because of the competitiveness that I have. I don't want to compete because it makes me back off!!! and this is the way that I feel I can stop it in my mind.


I want to lose for me! I don't want to keep thinking why am I not losing as much as others. It is driving me insane and the more I try the less I lose and I cannot handle that at the moment.

I was sooooo angry with my family and with me last night after the weigh in (even though I lost) but I felt with the effort that I put in.... others that I know would lose a lot more. I shouldn't have been angry with my family that is for sure but took it out on them and it was wrong.


OMG I am tired of hearing... 'muscle weighs more than fat' that is for sure... I am not happy with that excuse at all... because I have been doing exercise for a year now not a month or a week and the muscle thing seems to get used for everything ya know.

I have enjoyed the last couple of weeks with the exercise I have done. It has been interesting and I have pushed myself and I have learnt heaps that I need to try different things and do things for me more often as it gives me such a kick and such a thrill of excitment that I did this for me.. he he he he

Ok... enough from me.

Good night everyone
Love Chubbymum

6 comments:

Kate said...

You just do whatever works for you!

Me said...

I have to agree with the others - do what works for you. While I know that we aren't supposed to compare ourselves to others - it is hard not to so if this is what is going to keep you going - good for you for doing it !!!
Take care and hang in there - you have done such an amazing job already and I am pleased to have been able to share this journey with you !
Have a great week - Me

Karen said...

Yeap you just do what works for you hun! I too compare myself to others frequently and get myself down when I do that as I see how well they have done in a shorter time frame to me... but I have to remember we are all different and I also tell myself well at least with losing it slowly (like I am) I will be more inclined to keep it off! I am not saying the others won't keep it off either... but thats just my way of thinking.
Sorry for rambling - we are all here for you hun!
*hugs*

Tina said...

Yeah I agree with the above comments....you need to do what works for you hun...it IS hard not to get competitive. I find that at times when I feel like that, I need to refocus and remember what I'm doing, why I'm doing it and for who! You're going so well....You should be so proud of yourself!

Leighanne said...

I'm with the others - do what feels good for you!
If you know you are eating right and exercising, who cares about the numbers!
It's the way you feel that counts:)

Anonymous said...

Totally agree with the others - I know I used to get so fed up with not getting the results I wanted, the scales can vary so much - up heaps one day, then back down - I sort of think the main thing is just to keep on going, maybe look at the loss over a fortnightly or even monthly period - you are giving it your best shot. We all want to get there in a hurry but I've realised the main thing is as long as you work at it - you will get where you want, doesn't really matter how long it may take. I reckon you have done so well!!! Keep smiling:)